Vampires Don't Sparkle

Fuck them all.

Fuck every last one of them.

I closed the book of lies and glared down at the cover.

A fucking apple?

A fucking piece of fruit?

What the fuck was this-Adam and Eve?

I dug my fingernails into the ground where I sat, feeling the slightly moist dirt stick between them and my skin.

This Edward guy gave vampires a bad name.

Hell, even I had to admit that Bella gave humans a bad name.

Everything was wrong. The book was completely wrong. Yet girls were going crazy over it. The vampire faze had begun, and it was all over.

And it was all wrong.

To be blatantly honest, I didn't know a single fucking vampire who would hesitate to sink their razor sharp fangs into the first poor fuck to walk by.

And I certainly didn't know a single vampire who sparkled.

But that's beside the point, and I'm not here to talk about literature for the illiterate.

The only reason I'm here, the only reason I'm sitting in the middle of this goddamn park watching these goddamn sacks of blood walk around in their goddamn mini skirts and too-tight shirts, is because I'm fucking hungry.

And when I get hungry, I get bitchy.

Which happens to suck, no pun intended, for the poor idiot who decides to take a stroll alone tonight.

I ran my tongue over my fangs.

Was I going to hesitate to kill the first chance I got?

Please, do not answer yes to that.

A couple passed me, their sickly sweet smell of perfume and cologne burned my nostrils. But their blood, well, their blood smelled amazing.

A low guttural growl spilled from my throat as they passed. The girl turned in my direction with a dirty look.

I smiled.

How I would have loved to kill her right there-to bite into her and rip her apart piece by piece.

But I couldn't, not yet.

Not until there was no one else around. There couldn't be witness.

One witness, one fuck who got away from me, could be the start of another Holy War.

As long as we remained unknown, as long as we killed and cleaned up our mess, there was no one to get in our way.

Don't be seen.

That was the one unwritten law of our kind.

I picked the book of insults back up and began tearing the pages apart, letting them go mid-air and watching as the little white specks blew like snowflakes around the park.

Old movies were closer to what vampires were like than this book.

For instance, I couldn't enter a house without being invited in.

I had no reflection.

I feared garlic and holy water.

And if you even so much as point a cross in my direction, I'm getting the fuck out of there.

But I doubted that out here, in a park where no one had to invite me in, people carried garlic, crosses, and holy water on them.

Oh, there's one more thing I want to make sure I get across: I don't sparkle.

In truth, I'm immensely insulted that some pathetic human had the balls to mock us with such a fact.

Who, in their right mind, would think vampires sparkle?

Do we wear body glitter?

Are we made of diamonds?

The last time I checked, the sun didn't reflect off us in a dazzling array of light.

In fact, the sun fucking burned.

And when the sun does happen to burn me, I sure as fuck don't start sparkling.

I stopped tearing the pages, and glanced up, impatient.

The park was deserted, save for that couple who passed by me earlier.

I licked my chapped lips; guess I'd get to kill the bitch after all.

I took another look around the dark park; with my cat-like eyes, I could see clearly that the three of us were alone.

I brushed the dirt off my ass, kicked the female-teen-idiot book out of my way, and headed towards the other two. My fangs extended in anticipation of hot blood, my nails sharpening into the dagger-like weapons that all vampires are blessed with.

As I neared them, the bitch spotted me and opened her disgusting mouth.

"Look at her."

I managed a glance down at myself and couldn't help but smile; I looked like I had been sleeping in the garbage for the last week.

But, I guess that's what you get when a Hunter is after you.

My fangs extended fully as my mouth watered at the memory of the Hunter's blood.

"What the fuck do you want?" the bitch asked.

I smiled, a large, toothy, crooked smile.

Oh, hey, just like Edward's.

Barf.

I stopped a few feet from them and cocked my head to the side.

The guy was pretty cute.

What a shame.

"I said what the fuck do you want, freak?"

"Bella, leave her alone. Let's just go."

Aww. Her name was Bella.

Too perfect.

"No, I want to know what this bitch wants."

"No, come on," he reached for her hand, then stopped and screamed in pain.

They hadn't seen me move. They hadn't seen me strike.

All they saw was three severed fingers fall from his hand, to the ground.

"Oh my god!" Bella clasped her hands to her mouth.

The guy doubled over in horror, clutching his bleeding hand to his stomach.

"Call me bitch again," I said through my mock smile. I opened my mouth wider and wider until: "What the fuck!?"

Oh good, she noticed them.

I pounced then, pushing her down to the ground, one hand around her neck, the other on her wrist. My thumb pressed against her vein, feeling her pulse speeding up as fear shot through her.

I have to admit, the throbbing of her pulse was a real turn on.

I bared my fangs in a hiss, pulled my head back, and like a snake, bit her and pulled away so fast it was a blur.

Blood leaked from her shoulder where I made my first incision.

I struck again, hitting her chest and pulling back before going for the neck.

I wouldn't drink her blood until she was coated in that lovely crimson color.

"Biting is too cliché, don't you think?"

Her answer was a barely audible whimper.

With the hand clasping her wrist I swung up, slicing through her arm length-wise until the outer half of it was almost completely separated from her body, only attached at the hand.

What an odd site.

Her mouth opened in silent horror, tears leaked from her eyes.

"Well, what did you expect, Bella? Getting involved with a vampire?"

Her lips were moving in some sort of prayer.

I thought I could make out Please, don't kill me, but I wasn't sure. If that is in fact what I heard, I chose to ignore it.

I slide my nails between her breasts, feeling both cloth and skin ripping apart at my touch.

She screamed, a deep, rough, panic-stricken scream.

Finally; some good music.

Her shirt was turning crimson. It was beautiful.

I caught the movement of the male in the corner of my eye. He had finally backed away from the scene, still too shocked and scared to try and run.

It was always easier when they didn't run; less of a mess, no need to cover your tracks, etc.

But...it wasn't as fun.

"Doesn't your girlfriend look beautiful?"

He stared at her pained face, and the slowly growing spot on her chest.

I frowned, "Really, that's rude, don't you think the red is gorgeous on her?"

He didn't answer, which sort of pissed me off.

I launched myself at him in anger, my nails slicing in between his ribs. I could feel his organs at my fingertips.

I laughed, "Squishy."

His screams were delayed, but when they came it was like pleasure shot through my body.

I slid my hand out, grasping a part of him and ripping it from his inside.

Of course, I wasn't interested in eating entrails or anything, I merely thought they were fun to play with.

I dropped them to the ground, then licked my fingers seductively.

"Isn't this a great story to tell our children?" I asked him as he lay there, soaking in his blood, "I'm sure no one else has met their spouse this way."

"Bitch," Bella was able to mutter from where she lay.

"Oh, I'm sorry," I turned to her, "did you want him to live?"

I turned back to the male, "And what about you? Do you want your girlfriend to live?"

No answer.

"Honestly, though, what the fuck do you see in her?" I lifted his head by his hair, turning it to look into her eyes, "Is it sex? It's sex, isn't it?" I laughed, "I've been around much longer then she has. I know things. Wouldn't you like to sleep with a vampire?"

He glared at me.

"No? That's too bad, I was really hoping you'd say yes."

I really was too; the smell and sight of all the blood had succeeded in turning me on.

"Fuck you," he muttered.

I smiled; crack.

His neck snapped so easily, like a twig.

Bella screamed in horror, finding it in herself to try to start crawling away.

I couldn't stop myself from laughing; the sight of a one-armed, bleeding, blond bitch trying to crawl away from a couple hundred year old vampire who had done this thousands of times without fail was hilarious.

"Do you read?" I stepped in front of her path. She raised her glare to meet my crazed expression.

"Have you read that vampire book with the fruit on the cover?"

Her mouth opened, but no words came out.

I rolled my eyes, "Jeez, don't tell me you're dying on me already. I asked you a question. Answer it."

She stared at me in terror, then nodded.

"Oh, good," my smile returned, "don't believe it. It's all lies. It's a complete mockery of what we're capable of. I want you to understand this. It's very important. The book doesn't do us justice. It paints an incorrect picture. It was written by a human who didn't know what the fuck she was talking about. Consider yourself lucky; you get to know the truth. You get to see what a real vampire is like. The book is a lie. The vampires in that book are a lie. There isn't a single vampire in this world who would spare your life."

I giggled, "You probably wonder why I'm saying this. Well, I just want you to know that it's nothing personal. You wouldn't have been better off with any other vampire. They'd all have killed you, just the same as I will. Kill you, drink your blood, and if you're their type, have sex with your corpse. That's the true nature of vampires."

Tears streamed from her eyes.

"I just wanted to make sure you knew the truth before I killed you."

Her sobs grew louder, more panicked.

"I wanted you to know that I'm not doing this for any other reason, besides I need to feed."

Her body began to shake, convulse.

"And that the Cullens, or vampires like them, don't exist in this world."

She coughed out blood.

"They won't come to your rescue."

The smell was ambrosia to me.

I frowned; I had almost forgotten: "Oh, and one more thing."

I grabbed her by the hair, twisting her head so her eyes were staring directly into mine.

"Vampires don't fucking sparkle."